My Little Slice of Hell

I must elaborate on these words. This she commands!

Clementines

The first group meeting in class, she said she would bring us all clementines. She said it as she shoved pieces of the juicy fruit into her gaping maw. She lied. She fucking lied to us. There would be no clementiney goodness had. There would not be any dancing and frolicking through leafy glades as we bit into the orange delights. I know it was you Ali. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

Black Clothing

Black is very trendy. It also makes it harder for people to see me in their bedrooms at night. Sloooowly. Slooooooooowly. Shhhh, don’t scream. It will all be over soon. Like the Ninja of feudal Japan, I will stealthily end your existence. I will poison your wine. I will poison your chocolate. I will throw sharp metal things at your face and then… I will vanish into the darkness from which I came.

Europe

European history, 1715- Present. Our teacher likes France so most of what she teaches is about France. Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France? Royale with cheese. Do you know why they call it a Royale with cheese? Because of the metric system, you twit. Didn’t think of that, did ya?

Discussions

Our only interaction ever has been during life draining discussions. They’re horrible. It’s like listening to a flock of geese being clubbed to death in a bathtub with a golf club. That’s what it sounds like. A single person could just fill out the whole friggin group question packet thing. A single person but Ali because she got confused about something once. I can’t remember what it was but it was probably a important question that was worth, like, fifteen points. Fifteen points, for Christ’s sake! Would you trust Ali with fifteen points?

Sarcasm

Have you ever been verbally raped before? Would you like to be? My sarcasm is not unlike a hot, throbbing cock, except instead of being composed of absorbent tissues and blood vessels it’s merely sound waves passing through the air. I will blow your mind with my inadequate and often flaccid wit. Fucking blow it. All over the wall behind you, like that one scene in Scanners. You know, the one scene that is the only thing that anyone remembers in the movie. In fact, I’ve never seen Scanners but I’ve seen animated .gifs of the head exploding scene so I have experienced the true essence of the film. What was this supposed to be about?